Grandpa’s Not Quite Impossible Burger

This is enough to make four patties.

  1. Boil a pan of salted water (will be used in two places)
  2. Put 3 TBL Bulgar wheat into a coffee cup, and cover with water (plus 1 inch)
  3. Put 3 TBL brown or orange lentils into the pan of boiling water and let simmer for 25 minutes (They will be mushy and overcooked a bit, but that is what you want)
  4. Grate 1/4 C onion and 1/2 stalk of celery
  5. Soften in a skillet with 1 TBL EVOO
  6. Add 2 cloves chopped garlic and cook two minutes, then set all aside
  7. Add 1 TBL EVOO and 1 TBL butter to the empty pan
  8. Add 1 C pieced Shitake mushrooms and saute till well done
  9. If you have left-over rice, add 2 TBL of your rice (preferably brown)
  10. To a food processor, add the mushrooms, drained lentils and Bulgar wheat, onion mixture and 4-5 crushed cashews – and pulse until somewhat chopped
  11. OPTIONAL:  Prepare your mayonnaise :: Beat 1 egg yolk with 1 TBL of water and 1 TBL dry instant milk :: drizzle in 3 TBL safflower oil or EVOO, whisking continually OR you can use Kraft Miracle Whip
  12. Add 6 TBL (or 1/4 C plus 2 TBL) (or 3/8 C) Miracle Whip  or your scratch mayonnaise
  13. OPTIONAL:  Add a bit of garlic powder and/or a few drops of liquid smoke
  14. Add 1/4 C Panko bread crumbs and 1/4 C raw oatmeal and pulse until well mixed
  15. Divide “meat” into four sections and make patties :: You can use a large jar lid lined with plastic wrap to help form perfect patties or large muffin rings
  16. Brush the top with melted butter, then turn out onto a large plate in a single layer
  17. Brush the other side with melted butter
  18. Refrigerate until ready to cook
  19. Cook just as you would a hamburger

Another recipe from 1998 in my collection that I found.

  • 3/4 C mashed potatoes
  • 3/4 C cooked pinto beans
  • 2 TBL AP flour
  • Old Bay Seasoning
  • Add butter if necessary for texture
    • Form and fry
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